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A special interest (e.g., coin collecting) is common in males with AS, and this may be something they have pursued for years.They will be passionate about it and often have an extensive collection of related items as well as incredible knowledge on the subject. Although AS males are often highly intelligent, they may have held down a menial job or drifted from job to job for years.
Yet I am the one that has to handle everything and there is never someone there to help me. For a long time I pushed aside my friends when it came to social outings since my husband always seemed so awkward at these events. I see that I am responsible for my own anger and resentment and criticism, and the response it has provoked in him. But I also see that he will never be someone who will hug me spontaneously, kiss my cheek when I am crying, grab my hand when we are walking, look me in the eyes and truly understand emotionally what I am going through. He doesn't like to make eye contact, unless it's an overly direct, almost aggressive stare, and pulls away quickly after a stiff hug.
I have started going to things by myself which may sound rude but at least I feel alive!!!! Not sure I can live with that in a husband, although I can love him as the wonderful father of my child that he is. He is very intelligent in some ways, especially about mechanical and electrical things and political topics, and oddly off base about very basic aspects of pleasant human interaction.
To have another adult to talk to is worth more than anything. Compliments are the hardest thing to give and to take. I have been driven into a rage more than I care to admit by his rudeness, and into despair, near suicidal, living with someone who has so little empathy. He even took an online test where I felt he basically lied so that it would not come out as Aspergers.
Oh, and I'm the daughter and grand-daughter of Spectrumites too.
I have dropped my non-AS 'friends' over the years as I was unable to meet their expectations that I should change to be more like them.
Inappropriately, he has suggested I sleep on the couch and let him come to the home for visits, have him continue to live here but in the basement room, and has had coffee to discuss the divorce with a divorced father with whom we are only distantly acquainted through our children in the same neighborhood.