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Barbeque: 1) Women buy groceries, wash lettuce, chop tomatoes, dice onions, marinate meat and clean everything up, but men "made dinner." 2) Low-tech apparatus to turn charcoal into smoke and meat into charcoal. Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having. Bathroom: Room used by the entire family for private purposes, believed by all - except mom - to be self-cleaning.Barrister: English derivation of the French term for bastard. Bear: What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you. Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison.From women this ancient faith commands but a stammering assent.They sometimes minister at the altar in a half-hearted and ineffective way, but true reverence for the one deity that men really adore they know not.Boundary, n.: In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.Bridge: A game in which a wife is always eager to do her husband's bidding.A compilation of funny sayings and short puns - keen and winged words of wisdom - This list can be an inspiration for speeches, letters, greeting cards, weddings, birthdays, and goodbye / farewell. But I see now I should have been more specific.[Jane Wagner] I worry whoever thought up the term "quality control" thought if we didn't control it, it would get out of hand. [Pat Sajak] The only power you have is the word 'no'. I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen. Balance is not a word you can use in Versace fashion. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. [Lily Tomlin] All my life I've always wanted to be somebody. I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer. [Roy Lichtenstein] Attempt to get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade.
Abdomen, n.: The temple of the god Stomach, in whose worship, with sacrificial rights, all true men engage.Bond: What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her golf clubs to invest in Book: 1) A utensil used to pass time while waiting for the computer repairman. Boss: 1) Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.2) Someone who can say something really stupid without having anyone disagree.Bottle feeding: An opportunity for daddy to get up at 2 am too.
To get maximum aerobic benefit, dogs must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and the dog can then walk away, refreshed from the exercise. Blues, The : An autobiographical chronicle of a catastrophe, expressed lyrically.